SYNOPSIS  |  CHAPTERS & EXCERPTS

 
"A 5 paw book! Once you start reading, you will not be able to put it down! You will be rooting for Leo from page one. Read it yourself, then share it with the rest of the family. And don't be surprised if you find large paw prints on the pages!"
   —Rory S. Goree, President, Greyhound Pets of America

Synopsis

"A charming book, this should be in the library of all who own a retired Greyhound racer, those who own and show AKC Greyhounds, and those who just like a good and well-written story!"
   —Muriel Lee, author of breed specific books and
      The Whelping and Rearing of Puppies,
      editor of Just Terriers and Just Frenchies
 

The puppyhood accident that gave Leo human speech also thrust him into a life of seesawing fear and jubilation. Confused by the more subtle actions of humans, not to mention the lies people tell, Leo worries that his supercanine abilities will lead to scientific research—on his poor brain.

Unsuccessful in his attempt to become a champion racer, Leo gets a second shot at fame when, in retirement, he is adopted by film star Douglas Drake and supermodel Amaranth Drueten. But the celebrity pair want Leo only for his fabulous looks, and he quickly learns that happiness comes from love—not posh digs and photo shoots.

Resolved to have a better life, Leo first surmounts the limitations of his canine anatomy—then races from whimpering cowardice to heroic courage. Along the way, he becomes an accidental matchmaker. And he finds that some people are just as honest and loyal as dogs.

"Delightful...especially entertaining for anyone who's ever put a leash on a Greyhound. Pet owners should particularly relate to and enjoy the book."
   —Gary Guccione, Executive Editor, The Greyhound Review
 

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Chapters & Excerpts

"I read it in an evening as I was unable to put it down. Having just placed our 4,000th Greyhound, I can vouch that Cindy Victor has a keen insight into the personalities of Greyhound adoption agencies, Greyhounds, and adopters. Anyone who loves dogs will enjoy this book."
   —John Hern, President, Greyhound Pets, Inc.
   

Below is a list of chapter titles. Click on the highlighted titles to read an excerpt from that chapter.

   Call Me Leo
   Scarier than the Circus
   Why Wouldn't I Cry?
   My Owner Is Scum
   Find Your Spot
   The Frame-Up
   I'm So Ashamed
   Back in Five
   Simple My Foot
   Scumbucket Springs a Surprise
   Fear of Freedom
   Taking a Stand
   The Bribe
   HORSERADISH
   Staying Alive
   Posh Digs
   My Beloved Kim
   Miscommunication
   Back at the Condo Again
   Leo, Stop! Leo, Come!
   Show Me the Bear
   Hello, Teddy!
   Sorry, My Mouth Is Full
   You Want to Cut Crime?
   A Man of Integrity
   A Babe Is Not a Bitch
   Those Elizabethans Were Sadists
   Beam Me Up, Scottie
   Fate
   Are You Ready?
   A Strange Story of a Talking Dog

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Back in Five (excerpt)

     Kim came to the kitchen with my big teddy bear dangling from one hand and a white envelope in the other. Looking at Amaranth she said, "Leo pulled the plastic nose off his teddy this morning, and some stuffing came out. I was going to sew the hole closed tonight. Would you like me to do it before I go?"
     Amaranth finished chewing her last bite of lettuce, swallowed, and said, "That's not necessary. I'm sure it's nothing my seamstress can't handle." She reached for the teddy and Kim handed it over, along with the envelope. "What's this?" Amaranth asked.
     "Instructions for Leo's care. His feeding and walking schedule and what time he's used to having his teeth and coat brushed every day. You also have to keep his nails trimmed. I wrote how to do it without making him nervous."
     Pointing to what she'd written on the outside of the envelope, Kim said, "That's my full name and the address and phone number to my cousin Jill's. I'll be staying with her for a while. She works nights, so if you have a problem or question about Leo's care, you may call me at any hour. If I'm not there I'll call back as soon as I can."
     Douglas said, "Amaranth, let me have that, please." She did. He tore it in two. "Drop these in the wastebasket, would you, dear?" Then, to Kim: "I suspect that Leo's professional dog groomer in Beverly Hills will know how to clean teeth and trim nails. So without further ado, why don't you say a quick goodbye to Leo if you feel you must, and make your exit."
     Kim hadn't been looking at me. Now she did. This was too painful. I tucked my nose between my paws and closed my eyes.

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Simple My Foot (excerpt)

     Once more, Leo, and this time go for the gold. You're not doing it for yourself. It's for Kim. She wants to be with you. She said so. Make it happen for her.
     I pressed all the right numbers and was filled with joy at the sound of the phone ringing in Jill's condo or house or whatever it was she lived in. The ringing stopped and I heard my beloved Kim's voice say, "Hello?"
     "Kim! It's Leo! I love you! I miss you! What's your cousin's address and how do I get there?"
     She hung up. I sat, stunned. Was she mad at me? I hadn't looked at her when she said goodbye and left the condo. Didn't she understand that I'd acted as I did out of sorrow? I pondered this possibility only a moment before reality struck. Kim didn't believe it was me on the phone! Of course not! Geez, how dumb could I get? I should have said first that I was a talking dog, then asked for Jill's address.

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The Bribe (excerpt)

     Douglas watched as Michelle stalked up off the sand to the walking path. Then he turned hard eyes on the jogger. Then me. The jogger again. Me. Jogger. Me.
     With each shift of his blue-eyed stare, he looked more fierce, and I felt more frightened. If Douglas were to assault the jogger, what should I do? Bite Douglas? I'd be signing my death warrant. Everyone knows what happens to dogs who bite the hand that feeds them.
     The jogger didn't seem at all worried. He stood there on the beach at Lake Harriet just as relaxed as a person could be. Since I was leaning against him and he had a hand on my head, I would know from his hand or leg muscles if he were even a little nervous. I wished I could be that calm. Calm and somewhere else.
     The darndest thing was that I could be. As long as Douglas left me off-lead, there remained the option of my running away. But the jogger's hand on my head spoke to me of another option. One that, if he and I lived through this morning, seemed more desirable. I could become his dog. The thought both excited me and made me feel disloyal to my beloved Kim.
     Douglas started walking toward us, his eyes as cold as a morning in January. I was so nervous that I came this close to leaving the jogger with his hand stroking warm June air. But how could I abandon him, when he hadn't abandoned me?

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Show Me the Bear (excerpt)

     With a cold compress covering his eyes, Douglas lay still as toast on a plate. Not obviously alive, but obviously unaware of my presence if he was alive. I figured he was, and that he had a headache, which would account for the compress that kept him from seeing me. His not hearing me I attributed to the sound-absorbing qualities of the white carpet and white bed coverings. Not to mention the pitiful shortcomings of all human senses.
     I gazed around in search of my teddy bear but saw only myself, reflected in a dizzying sea of mirrors. Maybe Teddy was on the floor on the other side of the bed where I couldn't see him. Guardedly but quickly I went to look. I had more than Douglas to worry about. It had been at least a minute since Mike Dozer had yelled a command for me to come. He must think I was hiding from him—that I wanted him to leave the condo without me. He might already have left. This awful thought would have taken my breath away if I'd dared to breathe.
     Teddy wasn't on the floor by Amaranth's side of the bed. Now what? Search the master-suite closets, bathroom, and nail-repair alcove, or run to see if Mike was still here? Undecided, I turned around. As I did, I unwittingly brushed the bed with my behind.
     "Mother Drueten?"
     At the sound of Douglas's voice, I froze.
     "Are you in here, Mother Drueten? Wait, let me get these ear plugs out of my ears."
     I wanted to run but didn't. There are things we don't get a second shot at. I wasn't given a second chance to beat the racing champion Early Action, and I didn't expect another stab at searching Amaranth's and Douglas's bedroom for my teddy bear.

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A Man of Integrity (excerpt)

     Mike Dozer shouted "Ow!" and clapped his hands over his right eye—the eye struck by the notepad.
     I lowered my head. If there was going to be blood dribbling down from under Mike's hand, or heaven forbid a dangling eyeball, I didn't want to see.
     Mike said, "Ick! This is all slimy!"
     My heart almost stopped beating.
     "Did you have this in your mouth, Leo? Is that why your cheeks were puffed out?"
     Oh, thank heavens! He meant the notepad—not his eyeball. I raised my head and looked at him. With thumb and index finger he held the bent and limp pad by its spiral. Of course I wouldn't let on that I understood his questions. It was all right, though, for me to appear intensely interested in whatever it was he was saying that I couldn't understand—especially when he was holding something for me to see.
     I assumed the head cocked, eyes wide, ears alert pose that companion dogs assume many times a day—the pose that appears to be asking, "Did you just say that we're going on a camping trip and we'll smoke bacon over an open fire?"

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